Samsung Fascinate: Bada-Bing, Bada-Boom!

Here is what happens when some corporate mooks take a perfectly amazing product and intentionally fuck it up.

The phone is awesome.  4″ AMOLED screen.  Excellent camera.  Terrific battery life.  Verizon network.  1 GHz processor.  Android.  If you stop there, you might have the best phone ever.

Now enter the mooks.

Apparently, someone at Microsoft bought a Verizon exec a fat line of coke and a $50 blow job at the Cabaret Royale.  Bing search is so cooked into this phone that you cannot even CHANGE to Google – for everything (search, maps, nav, everything).  Verizon has actually gone out of its way to fucking HIDE the Google Search widget from the Android Market.  Hello?  This is Android.  From Google.  And.  I.  Can’t.  Fucking.  Use.  Fucking.  Google.

IF I LOVED BING I WOULD USE A WINDOWS PHONE.

Attention Ivan Seidenberg: identify the mook in charge of this decision, and immediately sell him to AT&T.  They’ll love that dickhead over there.

And, Ivan, if you happen to be the mook who made that decision, I have a recommendation.  Over the next few weeks, a few hundred thousand of these phones are going to be returned because they don’t offer Google search.  Take each and every one of them and… yeah, you know what to do with them.

Here’s how awesome the phone is: I am considering keeping it and hacking Bing out of it.  It’s really a terrific phone.  Verizon, please, please, please, please, please, please undo this decision with all possible speed.

Please.

2 thoughts on “Samsung Fascinate: Bada-Bing, Bada-Boom!

  1. Glad you like your phone so much that you’ll even consider messing with getting Bing out of the mix.

  2. So, what changed your mind about the AMOLED screen? Previous post looks like text is real problem on them.

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